Life Area: Personal
Topic: Personal Development
4 Things Holding You Back From Being Your Best Self
I’m guessing you wouldn’t even have me on your radar if you didn’t desire to grow as a person, what Tony Robbins calls CANI – Constant And Never-ending Improvement. Yet, as the old saying goes, we are our own worst enemy. Oftentimes WE are the ones holding us back. Here are 4 ways we do it and how we can self-correct:
1. We Surround Ourselves With Negative People
First, you need to understand that you are strongly influenced by the people you surround yourself with and spend the most time with. Guru Jim Rohn puts it simply, “You become the average of the five people you spend the most time with.”
Without your being aware of it, having negative people around you can hold you back from being your best self. Are there people in your life who are always complaining and blaming others for their circumstances? Who are always judging others, spreading negative gossip, and talking about how bad life is? Do they constantly attempt to bring you back down to their level? Are they dream-stealers who try to dissuade you from believing in and pursuing your goals?
Surround Yourself With Encouraging People
Until you reach the point in your self-development where you no longer allow toxic people to hold you back with their victim mentality and their mediocre standards, you have to disconnect from their negative influences at all costs.
If you are going to be great, you have to start spending more time with great people.
I want you to make a conscious effort to surround yourself with positive, nourishing, and uplifting people. People who believe in you, encourage you to go after your dreams and applaud your victories.
2. We Hold on to the Past Hurts
The next obstacle that can be holding you back from greatness is holding on to the past. Most people go through life as if they are dragging a big anchor behind them that is weighing them down. They’re holding on to past hurts, past incompletes, past anger or fear. Releasing this anchor in the present is the final step to embracing the future. I have clients who forgive people, and a few months later they have doubled their income. Coincidence? I think NOT! They are simply being rewarded for doubling their productivity and doubling their ability to accomplish important goals.
Forgiveness Puts You Back in the Present
In any relationship, you need to make the choice to come from a place of love and forgiveness.
You don’t need to condone their past actions or even ever trust them again. You do need to learn whatever lessons you can take away from the experience, forgive the other person, and move on. When you forgive, it puts you back in the present without all the emotional baggage you’ve been carrying. You can now forge ahead and create the future you want.
3. Change is Inevitable
Another key concept I want you to get is that creating your future means dealing with change.
If you don’t embrace change, you’re also holding yourself back from becoming your best self. Let’s face it. Change is inevitable. The seasons, the weather, the economy, technology, our leaders, even the cells in your body are constantly changing. You can either resist change and eventually get run over by it or choose to cooperate, adapt, and enjoy it.
Surrender to the Change
Think back to a time when you experienced a change and thought it was the worst thing to ever happen to you. Things like a move, a job transfer, getting fired, a divorce, or a disruptive change in technology. What happened once you surrendered to the change? I bet you can look back now and say, “Wow, I’m glad that actually happened. Look at the good it eventually brought me.”
Expect the Best Rather Than the Worst
Perhaps the change required you to grow, to develop qualities like courage, assertiveness, creativity, asking for help or perseverance. Maybe you ended up in a better career. Or maybe you ended up in a much more positive and nurturing relationship. Remember that you’ve been through changes before that have ultimately worked out for the best. Approach change with the excitement and positive anticipation you should.
Expecting the best rather than the worst is a mental choice that you are in charge of.
4. Limiting Beliefs are Destructive
Lastly, limiting your beliefs about your own capabilities or what it takes to succeed could be holding you back from being your best self. One of the most destructive beliefs you can have is that you are not capable of accomplishing your goals. You might be thinking, “I can’t do that,” “I don’t know how,” “There’s no one to show me,” “I don’t know the right people,” or “I’m not smart enough.” Many people don’t believe that they are competent to handle life’s challenges or that they are worthy of love. These two beliefs are the two main pillars of high self-esteem.
These are just beliefs. Beliefs are just thoughts you think over and over and over. You can consciously choose to think a different thought.
Believe You are Capable of Greatness
Use the power of habit to consciously keep thinking that new thought by repeating it as an affirmation. Post it on your bathroom mirror or your refrigerator. Make it into your screen saver. All it requires is consciousness, intention and the power of repetition.
Believing that you are capable of handling anything that comes up in your life will make you fearless.
Consider this: Haven’t you handled everything that has ever happened to you so far? You’ve been through the death of a loved one, a divorce, being broke? Maybe the loss of a friend, your job, your money, your reputation, your youth? These were all temporary, and no matter how painful or challenging, you survived them. You are still here, and you have the time and the resources to achieve greatness.
You Have the Ability to Create The Life You Want
Once you believe you deserve better and that you DO have the ability to become your best-self, your confidence will begin to soar. You will do whatever it takes – one step at a time – to create the ideal life for yourself.
If you are looking for a roadmap to achieve any goal and create the life you want, look no further than my Create The Life You Want Workshop. In this workshop, I’ll walk you through the steps needed to create a crystal clear vision of what you want, choosing a BIG, ambitious goal, and putting together a complete plan of action and achievement. This workshop is often held in an exotic location (last year we were in Santorini, Greece. This year we are in Sedona, Arizona!), so if you want to plan for a vacation with a purpose, this is the one for YOU!
I want to leave you with a bit of homework: Identify one of your limitations, and make a change. See how much further you’ll go toward greatness. To help hold you accountable, take a moment to comment below on what you plan on changing. I’ll make sure to follow up with you to keep you on track.
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My mission is to inspire people and organizations to live their highest vision.
I am a Success Strategist and Master Coach. I provide transformational coaching and training for individuals and organizations to help you Grow Your Life and Build Your Business by getting clear and focused on what you want, why you want it, and how to create it. Learn more about me at SuccessSeriesLLC.com.
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