Five Steps to a Higher Self-Esteem


Five Steps to a Higher Self-Esteem


“I want to increase my self-esteem”


“I want to increase my self-esteem” is a statement I hear quite often from participants in my EmpoweredWoman 101 seminar (soon to be released in its updated and renewed version entitled Goddesses 101). The participant’s asking believe that once they achieve a higher self-esteem, they’ll be able to become more successful. While it is true that a higher self-esteem will assist you in creating the life you want, it is because with a higher self-image you are more brave, more bold, more inclined to stretch from your comfort zone and try new things with confidence. And, it is in the trying and the stretching that you achieve more. Self-esteem is not a thing to be increased or decreased, although that is the common terminology. Instead, self-esteem is the process of esteeming yourself.

According to, the definition of self-esteem is:



a realistic respect for or favorable impression of oneself; self-respect.

Esteem means to “set a high value on: regard highly and prize accordingly.” In other words, the process of increasing your self-esteem starts with deciding that you are valuable and treating yourself as such.  

Here then are the five steps for increasing your self-esteem. And, you guessed it…number one is believing in yourself.

  1. Believe in yourself.

The first step is creating greater self-esteem is to believe in yourself. It’s your responsibility to take ownership of your own self-image and your beliefs – including your worth, your talent, and your potential. Belief in yourself, is an extension of The Success Principles – Principle #1: Take 100% Responsibility for Your Life.

  1. Identify 9 major successes.

The typical age of a participant in my Goddesses 101 seminar is 35-45. This is no coincidence. Most women enter into a period of introspection in this period of their life as they find themselves unsatisfied with life’s progression (men too). Don’t get me wrong, I have all age groups from 25-65, but typically they fall in the 35-45 years of age on the bell curve. Anyway, the reason I even mention that is because in the seminar I give an exercise wherein one must assess their life in three time periods – (1) from birth to 15, (2) from 16 to 30, and (3) from 31 to present.

Research has repeatedly shown that the more you acknowledge your past successes, the more confident you become in taking on and successfully accomplishing new ones (whether male or female). A simple way to identify 9 major successes is to list three major successes from each of these three time periods in your life. This exercise will convince you that you’re a successful person who can continue to achieve great things. Do this, whether you’re male or female, and keep going with your list. See if you can identify 100 successes!

  1. Keep a victory log.

At the end of your day, write down your successes from the day in a victory log or your daily journal. Doing this will log them into your sub-conscience, enhancing your self-esteem and self-confidence. Whenever you need a boost, pull out your victory log and re-read what you have written. Keeping and referring to your victory log keeps you focused on your successes.

  1. Display success symbols.

What you see in your environment has a psychological impact on your moods, attitudes and behaviors. Surround yourself with awards, pictures, and other reminders of your successes. Create a special place in your home – perhaps your refrigerator – to display these symbols so you see them every day. This will sub-consciously program you to see yourself as someone who has consistent success in life. And lastly,

  1. Keep your agreements.

One of the most commonly overlooked ways to boost your self-esteem is to keep your word. Every agreement you make is ultimately to yourself, even those that involve other people. Your brain registers agreements as commitments. If you don’t follow through, you learn to not trust yourself. You lose integrity and faith in your ability to produce a result. Don’t undermine your sense of what Tony Robbins calls “personal power”…keep your commitments.

Self-esteem is like a stack of poker chips. The more chips you have, the more willing and able you are to take the risks that will lead you to greater success. Use the ideas shared in this blog post to create and maintain the high level of self-esteem you need to help you create the life you want.

Here is an Affirmation to say daily to support yourself:

“I appreciate all that I do. I am good enough just as I am. I speak up for myself, I ask for what I want, I claim my power.”

As you think about this, perhaps taking my Goddesses 101 seminar or my Create The Life You Want workshop or vacation with a purpose would be of interest. Please share with my community what you are doing to build your self-esteem by commenting below or following and tweeting me with #selfesteem to our new Twitter account @success_series or friend us and comment on our new Facebook page at Success.Series.

Please let me know of your interest in this topic and I will expand on this topic in future posts; your feedback is greatly appreciated. Let me know whether you like, or dislike, the topic and of other topics you would like addressed in future posts.

One of my missions in life is to move and inspire people to take action in their own personal development and business building.  It is my honor and privilege to serve you in this way.  I make it an absolute MUST that I inspire each and every one of you to STEP UP and live the life of your dreams, NOW, and not settle for less than you can be, do, have, say or believe.

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