Relationship Series #1: A Simple 3 Step Process To Self-Acceptance



Life Area: Relational

Topic: Accepting Yourself


A Simple 3 Step Process To Self-Acceptance

It’s February and ”relationships” is my blog theme for this month of Valentine’s Day. Let’s begin our deep dive into the Relational life area, with your most important relationship: your relationship with yourself. Specifically, accepting yourself unconditionally.

The other day in a coaching session it became apparent to me that my client hadn’t yet fully accepted herself.  Now, I admit we all on-goingly struggle with this to a certain extent, but she hadn’t even begun the process and this was standing in the way of a major breakthrough for her so I walked her through the following simple 3 step process:

Step 1:               Your attitude toward yourself is determined largely by the attitudes that YOU “think” other people have toward you. When you believe that other people think highly of you, your level of self-acceptance goes up and vice versa.

Step 2:               For you to truly understand yourself, or to stop being troubled by things that may have happened in your past, you have to be able to get those things off your chest. When you can disclose what you’re truly thinking and feeling to someone else, you can become aware of those thoughts and emotions yourself. If the other person simply listens to you without commenting or criticizing, you have the opportunity to become more aware of the person you are and why you do the things you do. You begin to develop perspective, or what some call “detachment.”

When you can stand back and look at yourself honestly, and candidly admit to others that you’re not perfect, then you can start to enjoy a heightened sense of self-acceptance.

Step 3:               After doing those things, you arrive at self-acceptance. You accept yourself for who you are: the good and the bad, your strengths and your weaknesses. When you can stand back and look at yourself honestly, and candidly admit to others that you’re not perfect, then you can start to enjoy a heightened sense of self-acceptance.


A valuable exercise for developing higher levels of self-acceptance is to take an inventory of your unique talents and abilities and your past successes in both your personal and professional life. Think about how those things will serve you in the future and the possibilities that may come from them and soon you will determine that you WILL have what you want to have, do what you want to do, and be who you want to be. You can then set goals and move toward them.

Remember, there are no obstacles to what you can accomplish except the obstacles that you create in your own mind…so keep your monkey-mind in check!


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I am a Success Strategist and Master Coach. I provide transformational coaching and training for individuals and organizations to help you Grow Your Life and Build Your Business by getting clear and focused on what you want, why you want it, and how to create it. Learn more about me at

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